Teddy's Visit
by MarigoldStevens
Summary: With no one else to watch him, nine-year old Teddy Lupin is spending the night being babysat by a very pregnant Astoria. This can't end well.
1. Peacocks and Neon Hair

**Okay, this is going to be a few short chapters, nothing serious.**

**Thanks for the help lilbunny98!(:**

**Disclaimer: I am flattered that you think I wrote Harry Potter, but I'm afraid I must disappoint you.**

The first sign that Harry Potter should just cancel his and Ginny's date was the peacock, which Harry saw through the black gates, strutting proudly. He looked down at his godson, who was staring solemnly at the creature, his hair already changing to match the vivid blue of the animal's feathers. "Will it eat me?" Teddy asked, adopting a serious tone that was very uncommon for a nine year old. Harry sighed, putting his hand on Teddy's shoulder.

"No, Teddy, the peacock will not eat you," he replied wearily, taking out his wand and attempting to open the gates.

"Password?" the gate purred. Harry opened up his mouth to the gate he didn't need a bloody password, thank you very much, and numerous other things peppered with colorful vocabulary, but he reminded himself that Teddy was a regular Parrot, and whatever came out of his mouth came out of Teddy's; a lesson he had learned the hard way, involving a particularly close Quidditch match and a spying little purple-haired boy, who promptly went and told Ginny exactly what he thought of her burnt blueberry muffins. Harry had slept on the couch that night.

"Let me in?" Harry pleaded. The gate must've either took pity on him, or found a pleading Potter funny, and let him in so that its inhabitants could get a laugh. Harry was past the point of caring.

"Why again can't I stay with you this weekend?" Teddy's lower lip was poking out; a little voice in the back of Harry's head told him that Teddy had learned the art of the Puppy Dog Pout (an art he was sure to teach James, once he got old enough to learn the concept).

"Because," Teddy shrank back in fear as another peacock rounded the corner of the Manor, glaring at Teddy, whose hair was now a bubblegum pink, "Ginny and I already made reservations to go out to eat, and we already got Grandma Weasley to come and babysit James, and we think you'd have a much better time here," Harry said, choosing each word of the lie carefully. He carefully avoided the look of utter hurt and betrayal on his godson's face, staring ahead at the imposing black door.

"And you couldn't reschedule?" with the amount of surprising snarky-ness in Teddy's words, it was evident he had been listening to one-too-many Ron and Hermonie bicker fests (which had gotten considerably worse with Hermonie's pregnancy).

"Because we just found out Ginny is going to have a baby, and we have to go out to eat now while she can still fit into her good shoes and not have to wear those maternity robes," Harry surprised himself by reciting Ginny's statement word-for-word (leaving out the colorful adjectives that Harry had pointedly ignored). Teddy seemed momentarily thrown-off by this statement, blinking his now violet eyes and muttering something about "never getting married and having a baby, Ginny's completely bonkers every time and Aunt Hermonie's just crazy". Harry snickered, vowing to never repeat that (very true) statement that would result in another night on the lumpy couch.

"Do you want to knock, or do you want me to?" Teddy stared back stonily. "Right," Harry said to himself, knocking smartly on the door. It swung open, revealing a tall, pale man with blond hair and a pointed face.

"Potter?" Draco raised his eyebrows, his voice straining to be civil. His hair was a little longer, the bags that had been under his eyes since 6th year had faded, and he seemed happier. Well, as happy as you can be when you open your door to find your long arch-rival (who had saved your sorry hide from a cell in Azkaban a couple of years ago), and a boy with now bright green hair.

"Can we come in?" Draco stepped aside and opened the door wider, still utterly bewildered as to why Harry Potter was gracing Malfoy Manor with his presence.

"I like what you've done with the place," Harry said conversationally. The dark gloom that had hung around the mansion was replaced with a warmer feeling, the walls brighter, stacks of books and suspicious looking plants placed everywhere.

"What do you want? I know this isn't a social visit," Draco said abruptly, glancing at the watch on his wrist.

Harry cleared his throat, staring at his feet for a second before blurting out "I need you to babysit!" Draco's face ranged from confused, amused, and then finally on annoyed.

"I can't Potter, I have to go to work," he said, tapping his watch again. Teddy was busy glaring at Harry, the words _I'm not a baby _practically seeping out of his eyeballs.

"But I have no one else! Ginny has to go out to eat to night, she has to! It's the last bloody night we have before she goes back into the pregnancy Ginny, who honestly frightens me," Harry rambled. "Why can't your wife watch Teddy?" Draco glanced down at cousin (or was it second cousin? First cousin once removed? Ah, all Harry knew was that they were related) raked his fingers through his hair, looking quite frustrated.

"Because Astoria's seven months pregnant, and I wouldn't want to leave the poor boy alone with her! I love the woman, but she's gone mad!" Harry blinked at Draco's statement. Astoria who? Harry didn't remember an Astoria. _Well, at least it's not Pansy_ he mused to himself. Wait-he couldn't mean Astoria Greengrass, could he?

"Am I the only one that thinks all three wives getting pregnant at the same time is just a little creepy?" they both looked down at Teddy, who just shrugged, his hair changing rapidly to the color of gold.

"Three?" Draco's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to make out who the other pregnant wife was.

"Hermonie," Harry stated simply. Draco took a moment to take this in, then looked at Teddy.

"No, going to school with the Golden Trio makes you use to all the weird occurrences," he said dryly. While Teddy was contemplating this, a figure came out of one of the many rooms, startling Harry.

"Draco?" they all turned to look as a very pretty very pregnant girl with wide green eyes and dark curls made her way down the stairs. She was wearing the dreaded maternity robes; although hers were green and silk (being a Malfoy obviously had its perks). Her eyes passed over Harry, pausing momentarily at his scar, and Teddy (she didn't even blink at his now fiercely magenta hair and eyes the color of her robes), then came to rest on her husband.

"Well?" she pursed her lips, glaring at her husband, daring him to try and explain. Harry decided Draco was either very brave or very stupid for opening his mouth.

"Potter was just asking if we could watch Teddy, but I have to go into work, and you, well you can't-"

"I can't _what_, Draco?" she sneered (yep, definitely Astoria Greengrass. Well, Malfoy now) at her husband, who Harry heard muttering "two more months. Just two more months," to himself like some sort of chant. Harry knew how he felt.

"Astoria, you're pregnant, seven months pregnant! You can't watch a kid! I mean, seven months Tori!" Draco was taking on a desperate tone while Harry was having second thoughts about having a hormonal pregnant woman watch Teddy for the night.

"I can very well do whatever I want, Draco, with child or not," Astoria said, Draco's shoulders slumping in defeat and Harry sending mental apologies in advance to Teddy.

"Teddy. Teddy Lupin," he stuck out his hand to Astoria, whose face took on a pleasant expression as she shook. Harry prayed she'd stay like this until he could come and rescue his godson, but he had his own experiences with pregnant witches, who were prone to setting off random spells on their wands and making things explode. Harry would just have to make sure Teddy didn't get close to her wand, if he knew what was good for him.

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	2. Crepes

**sorry it's a bit short, and sorry if it's a bit confusing(:**

**Disclaimer: I am neither a billionaire, nor British, nor blond. So, no, I am not J.K. Rowling.**

Teddy liked Astoria straight away. "Mrs. Malfoy -"he had started to say, but she quickly shook her head, the dark curls bouncing.

"None of Mrs. Malfoy this and Mrs. Malfoy that, it's Astoria," she said with a smile. "I'm family, Teddy. Although I can't recall exactly how we're related…" at this she trailed off, looking confused.

But Teddy had spent a fair of amount of time with pregnant witches, and he knew they was like one of Uncle George's Insta-Swamp Bombs- able to change and explode at any sudden movement (he could remember a particularly nasty incident involving Harry suggesting that they eat something other than bacon, steak, and icecream for dinner when Ginny was pregnant with James. He had slept on the couch that night). _He seems to do that a lot _Teddy noted, subconsciously changing his hair to jet-black, like Astoria's.

"Well, Teddy, what would you like to do?" Astoria's green eyes were shining as she wobbled into the living room, plopping down on the couch and sighing. His now bright blue eyes widened as he took in the Malfoy's living room. It was painted silver, and the sun slanted in through the curtains, slivers of light shining on the puffy green couch. It was rich and fancy looking, but not imposing like he had expected.

"What's that for?" he pointed towards a spot near the corner, where the wall was painted gold and had a lion painted on it in red. It was quite odd looking in the massive silver-and-green themed room. He jumped in his spot on the recliner as Astoria cackled: not laughed or gave a dainty giggle; _cackled _like some mad women. As he sat and peered at her, he couldn't help but feel like he was at the muggle zoo again with Harry and Ginny, watching the animals through the glass (before he accidentally gave the monkeys the gift of speech and Harry had to perform some quick Memory Charms).

"That, Teddy dear," Astoria was wiping tears from her eyes, still snorting between each word," is my way of supporting all the, ah, diverse options the baby has," she finished with a flourish.

"Oh," he said, still confused as she continued to admire he handiwork. He decided that Astoria was undeniably mad. He also decided that he quite liked her, and that maybe this night wouldn't be so bad after all

Harry was worried. No, maybe nervous was a better way to put it. Or ready to march up to Malfoy Manor, take his godson by the arm, and never look back. Yeah, that would do.

"I don't understand what you're so paranoid about," Ginny had said as she applied her lip liner (#3458026, Rose Petal Kiss, purchased at Mrs. Georgia's Beauty Boutique, a.k.a. The Great Pink Kneazle Incident. Harry had done a lot of memory charms that afternoon). "I mean, what's there to worry about? It's Astoria, I remember the girl from Hogwarts," Ginny concluded, staring at Harry with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah, so do I. I remember her as a snarky Slytherin who was Malfoy's rumored snogging partner and loved to torment first years with stories about kid-eating dragons that lived in the dungeons," Harry stated, leaving out the fact that he had gotten his own fair share of nightmares from the younger girl's outrageous tales (hey, in his defense, they were quite believable).

Ginny sighed, putting her hands on her hips. _Oh sweet Merlin, here it comes _he thought as his wife adopted a very Hermonie-ish expression; which involved her raising her eyebrows into her hairline and giving him the classic "oh, goodness, how daft are you? I mean, really!" look he had received countless times.

"Harry James Potter," _Wow, she's got the voice perfectly_ He noted, impressed. "That was years ago! If we went around basing everyone off of how they acted at Hogwarts, Ron would still be some dim red-headed git-" _still can be _Harry's inner monologue interrupted, "Hermonie would still be a big bossy Know-It-All-" _still is_, "I would be some obsessed fan girl-" Harry grinned, "and you would be some lonely little boy who didn't know how to ask for help because he was too proud," she finished, raising her chin pas if to "well there!". Harry frowned. No, that wasn't right. He had never been some lonely little boy (boy? He wasn't a little boy!), and since when couldn't he ask for help? It wasn't his fault he liked to protect his friends and do things himself. Yes, he was actually _protecting _them all; it had nothing to do with pride at all! He chuckled at the very thought. Malfoy was the prideful one with the ego that needed its own House at Hogwarts, not him.

"Worried? I'm not worried!" Ginny gave a snort, "I fully trust Astoria. Now, isn't there a dinner reservation waiting on us?" he gave his arm, which a smirking Ginny took.

Two hours had past, and Teddy had barely thought of Harry and Ginny. Astoria had let him eat whatever he wanted (waffles with lemon yogurt on the side), play with their miniature Quidditch set, and read all the books he wanted (he preferred Wally the Wizard and his many adventures, but "Gilderoy Lockhart: the Fraud, The Fake, the Failing Fame" was surprisingly interesting).

"You know, Teddy," Teddy looked up from his book ("Hogwarts A History"-Aunt Hermonie would be so proud) to Astoria, who was staring absentmindedly into space, a blissful expression on her face, "when I was a young girl, before I went off to Hogwarts, every Saturday morning we would have a big breakfast. In the year before Daphne went to Hogwarts we would make our hair shiny and put on fancy dresses, just for breakfast," she paused, smiling at Teddy. "Our house elf, Millie, always made the best food: pancakes and sausage, biscuits and eggs. Once she even cooked crepes! Ah, I love crepes," she sighed, then added, "but those weren't real crepes, you know," she looked at Teddy with the same serious expression Aunt Hermonie wore when lecturing him on house-elf rights. "They were just her version of them. They were good," she added hastily, as if Millie the house elf was going to walk in, inquiring as to why Astoria didn't like her crepes, "but nothing like real crepes," She peered at Teddy, then asked, "Have you ever had a real crepe, Teddy?" he blinked.

"Um, no?" he realized that the pregnancy-induced craziness was finally kicking in as she dived into what all you could get into a crepe; and although the spinach and cheese crepe was savory, she had simply loved the strawberry and crème one, and why hadn't he ever eaten a proper crepe? But she would take him someday when he was older to get said crepe; but where exactly she wasn't sure. Where had she eaten the proper crepe before?

"Honestly, Teddy, I just can't remember!" her face was scrunched up in concentration, the frustration at not having a perfect memory when it came to crepe-eatery locations seeping into her words. "It's on the tip of my tongue, it's, it's-" suddenly, the world around was swirling, and Teddy took a hold of her arm as the walls became one big silver blob and they were spinning and spinning and oh Merlin he was going to be sick and why hadn't the spinning stopped and-

Ow. He was staring up at blue sky, lying on his back. He tried to sit up, but had to lie back down as a wave of nausea flooded him. He closed his eyes, then slowly sat up again. As he opened his eyes, the ringing in his ears dulled, but the panic in his head increased.

People walked by, muggles it looked like; children with balloons on their wrists and tourists wearing hats and snapping pictures of-oh. Well then. At least he knew where he was.

"Teddy, dear, are you okay?" Astoria was standing over him, still in her bottle green robes and barefoot, but seemingly okay. _Apparently she landed standing up_ he thought darkly as he rose shakily to his feet.

"I'm fine. What about you? Is the baby okay?" he could hear memories of Aunt Ginny's frantic worry every time something had so much as touched her stomach when she was pregnant with James, so it was second nature to check on Baby Malfoy.

Astoria, smiled her hand lightly on his shoulder as she confirmed his thoughts that she (unlike him) had landed standing up, so yes, Baby Malfoy was indeed in perfect health.

"Uh, Astoria," they had both turned to stare at the huge structure in front of them, "why did we end up here?"

"Paris. That's where I ate the proper crepe. Paris, France," she said delicately as they continued to stare at the Eiffel Tower.

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	3. Family Matters

**Sorry for not updating sooner (curse you, Writer's block!) and sorry for this chapter being on the short side. But thank you to all my amazing reviewers: Bucky5, lolchika21, rainbowspring, Addicted-To-Sugar-Quills, deathly fan, and of course lilbunny98!**

**Disclaimer: If I was Jk Rowling, do you honestly think I'd be sitting here writing fanfiction?**

The restaurant was wonderful: squishy chairs, polite waiters that didn't ask if you wanted more water, they just came and quietly filled your glass back up, amazing food (the pasta struck the right balance with just enough spice, but not to were you were practically drowning in your water to set out the fire on your tongue, and the chocolate cake was a sugary monster of deliciousness). Harry was miserable.

"Harry!" Ginny snapped her fingers in front of his face, looking irritated. He blinked.

"Yes?" the Glare darkened. Harry could feel a rant coming his way.

"Harry James Potter! That's the fifth time I've tried to get your attention! Now will you stop looking at that blasted clock and talk to me?" the Glare softened. "I know you're worried about Teddy, but really, what could happen to him?" she laughed. "I mean, it's Malfoy Manor for Merlin's sake! The worst that could happen would be that he dies of boredom!" Harry managed a weak smile. A quick glance at the clock (while Ginny was taking a delicate bite of her own slice of the Chocolate Cake Monster, of course, he wasn't daft enough to give her reason to blow up again). Two more hours until he could rescue his godson from the wrath of Astoria. It wasn't that he had anything personal against the girl (other than her giving him many sleepless nights), it was just that trusting Teddy with anyone that's last name was Malfoy was difficult. _Stop being prejudice_ he scolded himself. So what if she was a pregnant lunatic (she had to be to marry and have a kid with Draco)? She should be perfectly capable of watching Teddy for a few hours. Right?

"So, Teddy, do you like it?" Astoria questioned, taking another bite of her crepe that was oozing with chocolate sauce. Even though she had transformed her robes into a regular maternity dress and poofed shoes on her feet, she was still get stares from people. Her green eyes narrowed, and proof that yes, she was indeed fit to be was proved without a glimmer of a doubt when she sent the Queen of All Sneers to a woman who was gaping as Astoria shoveled the crepe into her mouth (the King of All Sneers still belonged to Draco). The Muggle woman blushed a startling shade of red and quickly turned back around. Astoria smirked, celebrating her small victory.

"Uh, yes, it's very good," he stammered, taking another bite of his strawberry crepe. She nodded, satisfied, then finished off her own crepe with a satisfied sigh.

"So, you just turned nine, did you?" she propped her elbow on the table, resting her chin in her hand. Teddy nodded, and she smiled.

"You'll be 19 when this little one," she patted her stomach, "goes to Hogwarts," at the mention of Hogwarts, Teddy broke out into a grin.

"I can't wait to go to Hogwarts!" he exclaimed, surprising even himself at his sudden outburst. A smile twitched on Astoria's lips as Teddy elaborated. "I mean, I'll be glad when I finally get a wand. Then I can do magic all by myself! Although not at Harry's though, only at school," he took a deep breath, then shoved another piece of crepe in his mouth.

"Oh!" he looked up, startled, as Astoria flung her hand in the air, smacking herself on the forehead. "Harry's your godfather, isn't he? I forgot!"

"Yeah. I stay at Grandma's, and Harry and Ginny's on the weekend, but not recently ever since James, and now with another baby on the way," Teddy sighed inwardly at the thought of yet _another _baby, that Harry and Ginny would fuss over and stay up all night with and gush as they exclaimed "Oh! He smiled! Come look dear, he smiled!". Teddy could smile, but they never seemed to get excited over that.

"Well, you're welcome to come over to Malfoy Manor whenever you wish! Although if I were you, I might wait until the baby actually sleeps through the night," she winked at Teddy, then promptly demanded the check. Whenever he wanted? That was certainly…generous. Usually adults said things like that, but they really didn't mean it, like when Ginny told Uncle Percy he and Aunt Audrey were welcome to eat lunch at the Potter's whenever they wanted, even though Teddy knew she really hoped that they wouldn't be coming back for a long time, because Uncle Percy spent the whole time lecturing all of them on the importance of using Ministry-approved regulation-sized cauldrons. But Astoria seemed to have really meant what she said. Well, it certainly felt nice to have an invitation like that, especially to somewhere as prestigious as Malfoy Manor.

"Baby Malfoy can stay with me when I get bigger whenever it wants!" Teddy promised. Astoria gave a little laugh.

"That's sweet, dear, I'm sure, ah, Baby Malfoy," she grinned, "will appreciate the invitation," her answer seemed to satisfy Teddy, as he nodded, taking a sip of his lemonade.

"But Astoria?" she looked up from where she was counting out Muggle money, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

"Yes?"

"What about-wait, how do you have Muggle money?" Teddy said, getting distracted.

"I'm a Malfoy," she stated simply, as if that were the answer to life itself ("And tell me, why do you have a gold-painted Dragon with diamonds on its scales?" I'm a Malfoy." "I see. And can you please explain exactly why you deemed it acceptable to set an entire bunny farm on fire?" "I'm a Malfoy.")

"Oh, alright I guess. But," Teddy started, remembering what he was going to ask in the first place, "who'll Baby Malfoy stay with on the weekends? Who'll be its godfather?" Teddy's voice was full of innocent concern at the thought of Baby Malfoy's Godfather-less life, filled with boring weekends and inescapable parents (Grandma in Teddy's case).

"I haven't put much thought into the matter. Did you have anyone in mind?" Astoria handed the money to the waitress, then stood, one eyebrow raised. Teddy thought for a minute, subconsciously following Astoria out of the restaurant and into the streets of Paris.

"Well, Harry already has me, and Aunt Hermonie probably wouldn't mind, but I don't think Uncle Ron likes your family very much, when he gets mad he always blames it on Draco, even though Aunt Hermonie points out that they haven't seen Draco in years," Astoria snickered, "but I don't think that matters to him very much. Uncle George is married, and besides; he has the joke shop, Baby Malfoy would probably end up green or get into a nasty scuffle with some fireworks if it got lost in there. I don't hate Baby Malfoy, so I won't say to send it to Uncle Percy. Uncle Charlie might be good! Oh, wait, he works with dragons. Nevermind. Uncle Bill's married, and he already has two daughters. Oh! I know! Me!" Teddy stopped walking, marveling at his solution to the issue. Astoria looked amused.

"You, Teddy? But what if something happens to me and Draco," Teddy cringed; Aunt Hermonie would have balked at the blatant ignorance of proper grammar," when you're still young?" Oh. He hadn't thought about that. Well, the same thing had happened to Harry! He could manage.

"I'll just do what Harry did: it can live at Great Aunt Cissy's house!" Teddy congratulated himself for being clever.

"And Baby Malfoy will visit you on the weekend?" Astoria prompted him. He shook his head, his brown hair (she had made him keep it one normal color, so as not to draw attention to them) flopping.

"No. Then it'll move in with me," Astoria looked touched, and for a second Teddy worried she was going to start crying.

"Teddy?" they both whirled around to face a tall, red-headed man with scars down the side of his face. A pretty blond woman was beside him, and two girls in front of them.

"Uncle Bill? Aunt Fleur?" the confusion on Astoria's face smoothed out into understanding, although the two Weasleys still looked suspicious.

"And zis is?" Fleur's eyes narrowed at Astoria, who gave a haughty look back.

"Astoria. Astoria Malfoy," she replied, Fleur's arched eyebrows rising.

"And what is Teddy doing with you?" Uncle Bill had come forward, hand on Fleur's shoulder.

"She's watching me, Harry and Ginny went out to eat," Teddy hurriedly explained before things could turn nasty. Fleur nodded approvingly, seeming to believe that no, Teddy was not being kidnapped.

"Ah, I see. And does Harry know that you're in France?" Bill asked.

"Um, no, well you see, Astoria's pregnant, and sometimes pregnant witches make odd things happen, and-" Bill held up his hand to stop Teddy's explanation.

"I understand," Fleur's eyes were now sparkling as she looked at Astoria, and Bill had an amused expression on his face, probably reminiscing about all the things Fleur had made explode or when she had Apparated to China or Africa.

"Teddy!" a tiny girl with long, pale red hair ran up to him, throwing her arms around his neck. She leaned back, her eyes sparkling.

"Hi, Dominique," he said to the little five year old. She grinned, showing off perfect tiny teeth.

"Teddy," he turned to face a taller girl, with big blue eyes and a bored expression.

"Victoire," he stated, refusing to be friendly if she was going to act like this. He much preferred the younger sister to the snobby, older by two years one that acted like a Fairy Princess and treated Teddy as if he were a bother.

"What are you doing in France?" Teddy turned his back on the blond girl, who merely huffed, to look up to his Uncle.

"Visiting Fleur's family," Bill explained.

"Well, why are 'e just zanding 'ere?" they all looked to face Fleur, who tossed her long silky hair over her shoulder. "Come! Let us make ze most of our time before zey go back!" she turned, then looked back, waiting for them to follow. Victorie flounced to stand by her mother, staring at Teddy coldly. Astoria walked past them to stand on the other side of Fleur, the two witches already getting into a discussion about the best place to bet robes embroidered. Uncle Bill, holding Dominique's tiny hand, looked down at Teddy.

"Ready? As she said, you might as well make the most of your time," Bill quoted with a smile. Teddy nodded, quickly glancing around to make sure no one was looking before he changed his hair to magenta.

**Review, please. I know you want to(:**


	4. Ice Cream

**Okay, first, I am so so so sorry for not updating sooner. All I can say is: school. And homework. Okay, and band practice. But I plan on updating more regularly, if time permits me. Thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers, including: lolchika21, Bucky5, Laura-Isabel, and lilbunny98, who is my great friend on here and gave me the inspiration for this story(:**

**Sorry if I mess up when Fleur's talking, it took me forever to try and type out her part.**

**And now, I give you chapter four.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. Rowling. Don't sue me, okay?**

Teddy had an idea. A theory, really. He believed firmly in the Ice cream Personality Diagnosis. It went something like this: there's different flavors of ice cream, right? And people have different personality traits, right? So Teddy believed (in not so-many-words) that each flavor corresponded with a certain personality trait; meaning that know someone's favorite flavor, know their personality.

For instance, Dominique had gotten a double-scoop strawberry cone with extra sprinkles, which meant she was thoughtful, more of a follower than a leader, often thought of as quiet and reserved, but insanely loyal. Dominique was loyal, thoughtful, and a follower (usually), but quiet she was not. This would've proven Teddy's entire theory wrong and ruined all his hard research, had it not been for the sprinkles. The sprinkles showed liveliness and joy, which represented the petite red head to a T.

Aunt Tori (he had taken to calling her that, even though he had no clue if she was really his aunt) got a chocolate-dipped waffle cone with three scoops of mint chocolate chip smashed inside. Mint chocolate chip showed confidence and stubbornness, implying that Astoria was a realist who was skeptical about life, but had close family ties and friendships thanks to her (occasional) honesty and dependability. He felt comfortable labeling Aunt Tori a Mint Chocolate Chip.

Rocky road was a mixture of charm and flat-out rich chocolate-y indulgence; all wrapped up in a slightly spoiled attitude and a liking for the finer things in life. It was no wonder Aunt Fleur went for a bowl of it.

Her eldest daughter, on the other hand, almost sent the whole system crashing down. Chocolate chip (not mint, just regular chocolate chip) supposedly represented competitiveness, ambition, generosity, and a sparkling personality. Victoire had none of those things (well, the competitiveness and ambition, okay, she had that) but generous she was not. Teddy could vividly remember a time when she clocked him on the head with her miniature broomstick when they were toddlers when he asked if he could have a go (he got her back later by dying her beloved doll's hair magenta). Sparkling personality? Ha! He could say with complete honesty that Victoire was one of the most unpleasant human beings he had ever had the misfortune of being around. A fact that seemed to be getting more and more accurate by the millisecond.

"Honestly Teddy," Victoire gave him a look of utter disdain as she daintily licked her chocolate chip cone, "have you never used a napkin?" he glowered at the blond girl, who was getting more and more intolerable by the minute. The were at some little ice cream parlor, the three adults in adamant discussion at one table, the three kids at the other. Dominique patted his hand, smiling a sticky strawberry smile. He tried to smile back, but it was hard while he was plotting the demise of her sister.

"I'm sorry, but I find it hard to believe that you married Malfoy!" all three of them looked over at the adult's table, where Uncle Bill was talking with Aunt Tori, who laughed.

"He was an insufferable prat, and still can be, but I love him for it. And you seem to keep forgetting I was in Slytherin, which, according to you Gryffindors, is the root of all things dark and evil," she raised her eyebrows. Teddy and Victoire imminently dropped their bickering, not willing to pass up a prime opportunity to eavesdrop.

"Slytherin? I would've never guessed!" Uncle Bill exclaimed, looking bewildered.

"Why?" Aunt Tori's expression remained emotionless. Aunt Fleur took the plastic spoon out of her mouth and looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Because you zeem zo nice! I 'hought you 'ere a Ravenclaw!" Aunt Tori blinked, a sliver of a smile creeping onto her face.

"That's what Draco and Daphne and basically the rest of Slytherin always said, until I-" Astoria stopped gazing into the distance and smiled at them. "Ready to go sight-seeing?" She stood up, already waddling off, leaving a confused Bill, Fleur, who had already forgotten about it; and Teddy still trying his hardest not to get locked up in prison in a foreign country for homicide as Victoire dribbled ice cream on his sneakers.

Harry sighed, relieved. The dinner was over, the check paid for, and he and Ginny were out the door, ready to go rescue his godson. He smiled down at Ginny, suddenly in a happy mood. "Oh, isn't it so pretty?" Ginny said in a whisper, tilting back her head to look at the velvety black sky, stars dotted over it.

"Yes, it's very pretty. I wonder how it looks at Malfoy Manor. Oh, I know! Let's find out!" Harry tugged at her hand, preparing to Apparate. Ginny looked at him, her eyes suddenly all swirly and dreamy-looking, as if she had been hypnotized.

"Harry," her eyes locked onto his, the beginnings of a grin showing on her face, "You know where I want to go right now?"

"Malfoy Manor?" he pressed, hopeful.

"Ron and Hermonie's!" she threw her hands up in the air, the Joy Fairy having evidently sprinkled happy dust on her.

"But, dear, we have to go get Teddy and-" Ginny pouted, cutting him off.

"Harry, we haven't seen Ron and Hermonie in _forever_!" she protested.

"We just saw them two days ago," he muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" she asked suspiciously, eyes narrowed.

"Nothing, nothing at all," he sighed, wishing the baby would hurry up and be born already. "Fine, we'll go to Ron and Hermonie's, but only for a quick visit, then we have to go get Teddy," Ginny clapped her hands together, kissing him and then grabbing his hand. _Something tells me this isn't going to be a quick visit_ Harry thought as his stomach swirled as they apparated.

"So how exactly are you and Teddy related again?" Teddy looked up when he heard his name, zeroing in on the adult's conversation.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure..." Aunt Tori explained. Uncle Bill nodded understandingly. The whole lot of them were shuffling down the streets of Paris, Dominique humming, off in her own little world, and Victoire throwing quiet snide comments to Teddy whenever the adults weren't paying attention.

"Paris is more beautiful than I remember," Astoria mused, looking around her. "One of the most beautiful places I've been actually," she added. Dominique looked up.

"What was the most beautiful place you've been?" the little girl asked, eyes wide. Aunt Tori looked thoughtful. _I have a bad feeling about this._

"Well, that would take a while to narrow down," she said with a laugh. Teddy sighed with relief, and the worried alert look went off of Fleur and Bill's faces. "But I'll tell you the most interesting place I've ever been was-" Teddy's hand was in her's before Paris even started spinning. It wasn't as bad this time, seeing as he expected it. But all in all, he was happy when they landed (even if he _was_ on his back. Again.) He sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Astoria?" he looked up at her.

"Mmhh yes?" she said, smoothing out her dress.

"Do you know how to speak Chinese?" he asked, staring at the bicycles the people rode and trying to block out the conversations he didn't understand, his head already hurting. _Why couldn't we have gone to America? At least they speak English. Or, even better, England!_

"Well, let's hope so," she said matter-of-factly, standing beside him and staring at the Chinese market.

**This is where I tell you to review. This is also where I tell you how long I spent researching the ice cream personality thing (no, I didn't make it up. And all those flavors actually mean what I said) and how much I would appreciate a nice, long review(:**


	5. Key Lime Pie

**Gosh, has it been that long since I've updated? Football season's kept me busy, along with all this homework. And okay, sleeping. But FINALLY I got a free moment to write this (even though I should be working on my biology) and I can only hope I haven't lost all my fans yet. Thank you so much for my chapter four reviewers: Zireael07, AnnyP, Laura-Isabel, lolchika21, PrincessLazyPants, Bucky5, rainbowspring, and, of course, lilbunny98. **

**And now, the story(:**

**Disclaimer: I'm not the creative genius behind Harry Potter, as much as I'd like to be (I'd also like to be able to truthfully say that I invented Toaster Strudels, Itunes, Pop Tarts, the wheel, flip flops, paper, and nail polish, but my claim to fame is how many reviews I have on .)**

Astoria could not speak Chinese. Or pull off a somewhat understandable game of charades. And apparently she couldn't even read a map.

"Honestly Teddy, I could have swore we were suppose to go to the right," they were standing in the shade, Astoria biting her lip and scowling at the paper in front of her, and Teddy trying to block out the dull headache of sounds- animals and clinking money and all the words he didn't understand. "Well," he looked up to a smirking Aunt Tori-"Let's try the left this time, shall we?"

"And then, the curse hits Harry, making his hair go all washoo-" Ron held up his hands, food falling out of his mouth, and flung them wildly around his head-"so then I had to get em, course, but no one thought to tell me that there was one behind the crate of dried bat wings!" Ginny laughed, clutching her stomach. Harry didn't see what was so funny about over exaggeration. He _clearly_ remembered that Ron had succeeded in deflecting the curse off of himself onto himself, and then succeeding in firing off a dozen crazy curses and knocking over the crate of jellied eyes.

"I'm hungry," Ron stopped mid sentence, hands in the air, as Hermonie looked up pointedly from her book (which was propped on her swelling stomach), raising her eyebrows at him. Ron looked around nervously, tugging at his collar, then thrust his plate of fried-well, fried meat, Harry wasn't exactly sure on the particular animal it came from, and wasn't sure he wanted to know- in her face. She wrinkled up her nose, emitting what Harry could've swore was a legitimate _growl _from the back of her throat.

"Not for your leftovers, Ronald, _honestly_, all I want is a snack! That's all! Just a snack!" shes shrieked at the end. Beads of sweat lined Ron's hairline. Harry was enjoying himself more than he thought he would.

"Um, dear, what exactly did you, erm, have in mind?" Ron choked out. A pleasant look suddenly came over her face.

"Key lime pie," she drawled in a dreamy voice. Harry kept his eye on her, trying to make sure they weren't fixing to be whisked away to some foreign place as his brother in-law scrambled out of his seat and into the kitchen to try and find some Key Lime pie. He chucked, remembering the time when Ginny had been pregnant with James and had been craving pineapple, and they ended up on this beach-oh merlin.

He swore, then stood suddenly, nearly knocking over the coffee table. Ginny and Hermonie placed their hands on their stomachs, looking horrified, as if the babies had heard them and were committing the word to memory.

"Harry James Potter! What on earth-"

"Ginny," He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, "what if I told you your godson could be halfway around the world at this very moment with only a crazed Malfoy to watch after him?"

Yep. He was definitely sleeping on the couch tonight.

Teddy was hungry. And tired. And hot. And wanted to go h- no, not home. Nothing was worse than Pregnant Crazy Ginny, not even this. No, he would be content with going back to Malfoy Manor.

"Merlin!" Aunt Tori groaned. Apparently, he wasn't the only one who was sick of China. "I guess it's time to go home. I hate to leave already, but..." she sighed, Teddy practically drooling at the thought.

"Oh, look!" now it was Teddy's turn to sigh. Of course they couldn't leave now, fate despised him and his 9 year old self. "Teddy! Do you see that vase that man has?" Astoria was gripping his arm, whispering and nodding toward a dirty red building, where a man wearing gloves and a hat carried a vase inside. Teddy grudgingly admitted that it _was_ a pretty vase; with swirls of gold and silver intertwined and snaking around the pastel background. He vaguely wondered why a man who was obviously trying to stay undetected, with the whole black-gloves-black-hat-stay-in-the-shadows-no-eye-contact thing (hey, you didn't grow up around Harry Potter and not learn a thing or two) was carrying it around.

"Maybe it's a market!" Aunt Tori's green eyes lit up with hope as she beamed. "Maybe this day will get better, Teddy dear!"

Harry would be lucky to sleep on the couch tonight. At the rate he was going, he was going to end up outside. In the Forbidden Forest. Alone. For a week. In December. Without a wand.

"So you're telling me that our godson-who you gave to the Malfoy's, for Merlin's sake-could be anywhere at all in the world, and there's not a thing we can do except wait?" Ginny's own wand was twitching in her hands, her eyes narrow and beady looking. She reminded him of that Hungarian Horntail for a moment (he half expected her to breath fire). That wasn't good.

"Erm...Yes?" he said, already backing up.

"Wait, so all this happened because Astoria got a craving for something?" Ron looked warily at Hermonie, who was happily eating her Key Lime Pie. Harry bitterly hope it was worth his happiness. She looked up at him, as if she heard his thoughts, and smiled pleasantly, shoving a forkful into her mouth. Apparently, it was.

Too late he looked up at Ginny. Her eye twitched dangerously, then she lunged. Armadillo postion Potter. Armadillo armadillo armadillo armadillo armadillo arma-

"Boss?" Ginny smoothly rolled off of him, leaving Harry to grab ahold of the fireplace to stand up.

"Bridget?" he blinked. Standing in front of him was Bridget S., his "personal assistant" from Beverly Hills, where she had been determined to make it big ("I was yanked from my career before it began!" she had sniffled). Bridget was the stepdaughter of the Keeper for the Falmouth Falcons, and had moved a few months ago. Naturally, her stepfather had demanded she have a job, and naturally, Kingsley had deamed her "Head of the Assistant Squad to the Head Auror". Who was he kidding? Harry didn't have an assistant squad.

Bridget tugged on her hot pink bejeweled sweatshirt, the one with the matching pants (which she was currently wearing) that Harry hated with a passion ("It's Juicy!") and snapped her gum. Her curly platinum hair ("Are you sure she's not a Malfoy? Not even a distance cousin or somethin?" Ron had asked Harry suspiciously) was piled on top of her hair, and she looked irritated.

"This one's a good one Boss, I swear. I wouldn't have-paused-" She sighed as if it pained her-"the season finale of Jersey Shore if it hadn't been,". Harry blinked. She grinned, savoring the suspense. Harry thought she would have made a fine actress.

"It's for you and-" she paused, tossing a disdainful look towards Ron (she had heard the Malfoy comment and hadn't forgiven him since)-" him. It's like, all James Bond and stuff. Kay, so ya know how hard it is to smuggle dark artifacts too and from one country to another?" she grinned. "Well, this group of wizards has been doing it for _years. _They've made a killing," her blue eyes widened dramatically. "And they're suppose to be shipping some here. Tonight,"

Harry looked at Ron, who nodded. Then at Ginny, who rolled her eyes and huffed. Teddy could wait just a little longer; it had been months since a bust this big.

"Where is it?" he turned back to Bridget, who was inspecting her shiny nails.

"China," she replied, then Apparated.

It was definitely not a market. Teddy and Astoria were crouched behind some crates, looking at the dozens of people lurking around, packing things in boxes and muttering enchantments on things.

"Astoria," he whispered, watching as a particularly beefy man with slick hair take a handful of glittering powder out of the very vase that had tricked them into coming in, laughing quite evilly "I think we should go,"

"Good plan," she muttered back. Suddenly, all the doors swung shut, the lights dimming. "Bloody Hell," Astoria muttered, gripping Teddy's wrist.

Well, you couldn't say it was a boring day.

**So about Bridget: she just came to me, and I had to write her. I was not trashing Beverly Hills or the people in it or Americans (I'm an American), it was just all in good fun, okay? So don't take it seriously.**

**Review please!(:**


	6. The Smell of Cherry Cobbler

** I'm extremely worried that I've lost all my reviewers for this story. But it does feel good to be back. So guess who got a laptop for Christmas so they don't have to use their parents old one from the 90's? If you me, congratu****lations, you get to read this chapter. But now I have to give you the bad news: this is the last chapter of Teddy's Visit. Maybe that's why I put it off for so long...but to make up for the wait, and this being the last chapter, I made it extra super long. Oh, and it also makes references to characters in my other story "Aurors and their Issues". You should read and review that one too *wink wink nudge nudge*.**

** Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. Rowling, but I'm flattered you asked.**

Draco was tired. Not only had he gotten called in for a last-minute-super-late-super-important meeting at work, but he had been stressing about his slightly unstable wife and the poor little Teddy kid she was watching after. He knew something was going to happen to the boy, he just knew it. And Potter would curse him into the next century if he didn't come back in one shiny piece. But you never know, maybe Tori had actually provided a nice, quiet evening for the 9 year old.

"Ha!" he said out loud bitterly, shaking his head. He absolutely loved the woman, but she was already mental without being pregnant, let alone to the point where she was teetering on the line between pregnant and oh-Merlin-it-looks-like-the-baby's-going-to-pop-out-any-second. He would be happy when this whole pregnancy thing was over with and things were back to normal. "Done!" he said triumphantly, smiling down at the neat stack of papers on his desk. He waved his wand, sending them up in the air and flying out the door...straight into his bosses face.

"What the bloody-Malfoy!" Marlene hissed, batting the persistent stack of paper out of her face. Marlene reminded him of a rather cross garden gnome; all skinny with an absurdly large head balanced on her skinny neck. He tilted his head. If he squinted his eyes, she rather looked like a lumpy potato teetering on top of a collection of toothpicks.

"Malfoy!" He blinked, startled. She glared at him, her blue eyes looking freakishly big behind her thick-lensed glasses.

"What? I'm done, I finished my report; look! There it goes!" he said, waving his hand at the papers that had straightened themselves and were now zooming out of the office. She pursed her lips.

"I noticed," she replied dryly. "But we need you," she stated simply. Draco sighed. He didn't particularly like the woman, but she made a good Unmentionable. You couldn't get any details about anything whatsoever out of her.

"Where?" he stared at his watch. Knowing his co-workers, this would take twice as long as it should, so he wouldn't be seeing see his wife and...nephew? cousin? relative for another two hours.

"The Room that you know," she replied, walking out.

"That doesn't even make any sense!" he called after her.

Teddy had thought for the longest time that Harry knew the most swear words known to man. Then he went with Ron to a Chudley-Cannons match, and he took first place, only to be swiftly replaced by Blaise, whom he had met at the small Ministry get together at the Burrow. Blaise had, well, Teddy couldn't exactly recall what he had done, but it was evidently something stupid that called for a lot of jumping around and swearing.

But it seemed that Slytherins had a, erm, way with words. For the past ten minutes, Astoria had been releasing a steady stream of colorful language that Hermonie would certainly _not_ approve of.

"Burnt himself on the apple cider," he suddenly declared, sniggering at the memory of Blaise taking gulp of flaming hot cider, then proceeding to jump around and drop the cup, spilling it all over himself and his date, Ms. Daphne.

"Say something Teddy?" Astoria whispered, looking over at him. Or he supposed she was looking over at him, the lights were still off. He shook his head.

"Aunt Tori?" he asked tentivley.

"Hmmm?" she said, not really paying attention.

"Why can't you just apparate us back to Malfoy Manor?" she turned to look at him now. Or he guessed she did.

"Well, you see Teddy, you know how we came here because I was craving Chinese food?" he nodded. "Well, we can't leave until I get some," she finished sheepish. He took a deep breath, nearly choking on the sudden smell of spices. Lifting his head slightly, he could smell what was obviously take-out coming from where the men had been last. Sighing deeply, he leaned up against the crate, deciding he might as well get comfortable.

"Settle down Ron," Harry said in what he considered a patient tone of voice. Or at least patient for someone who had been trying to calm down their overly excited friend and partner for the whole time they had been in China.

"Sorry, sorry, it's just we haven't done anything interesting in such a long time! It's all been bloody paperwork! Us, highly trained Aurors, reduced to paperwork! Don't they have people who's job is specifically to fill out our paperwork? I'm pretty sure they do. If they don't, well, they need it. I mean-"

"Ron," Harry said, cutting him off. Ron paused, looking over at him. "Shut up,". Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, then continued to hunch over, the invisibility cloak fluttering around his ankles. He and Ron were trained professionals who were perfectly capable of casting a charm or drinking polyjuice potion to sneak into the warehouse, but Ron had insisted that they revisit the "good old days" and drag out the invisibility cloak. But what Ron and he did not realize until they were already in China and it was too late to change plans was that they had grown taller and wider since the "good old days" and they had to practically crawl just to keep the cloak from flying up around their shoulders.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kimberly leaning up against a wall, dressed in scruffy looking clothes, a piece of cloth concealing her blond hair, snickering as she saw his black shoes and Ron's trademark thick-soled vomit-green trainers with the brown and yellow checked laces (honestly, where had Hermione been when he had purchased those horrid shoes? Naturally, she had an epic breakdown when she saw them, which was only increased by the that, naturally, they were sale items and could not be returned. Three days later she had another break down when she learned that not only was he intending on wearing the dreadful things, but wearing them to the Minister's House. Two hours and one crispy shoelace later, Ron learned to cast fire proof enchantments on them).

A little girl walking next to her mother stopped, wrinkling her forehead as she watched feet with no body hurrying past. She tugged on her mother's sleeve, shrieking something in rapid Chinese. Her mother, thank Merlin, was too preoccupied with the notebook she was reading to look over as Ron and Harry hurried past.

"So let's review," Ron whispered. "We get there, bust in and do some fancy wand work while backup rushes in and helps wrap it all up. Then, after sending them to Temporary Holding Cells to await trial and sending all the dark artifacts back to be looked at by the Ministry, we go back to Malfoy Manor to pick up Teddy," he looked at Harry out of the corner of his eye.

"Er, something like that, yeah," Harry said. He closed his eyes momentarily, trying to clear his mind as they rounded the corner and saw the warehouse. They crept toward the door, trying to silence their steps. "On the count of three," he hissed to Ron. "One, two,three!" Suddenly the cloak was thrown off as the door opened with a bang. For a second, everyone looked up like deer in the headlights, eyes big, barley breathing. One particularly unfriendly gentleman was so startled that he dropped the hunk of crystal he had been holding, sending grey powder all over the floor. This seemed to set everyone off as they whipped out their wands, aimed at Harry and Ron.

Ron was dueling a blue-haired wizard who was grinning with gold teeth. Ron sent a red jet of light his way, catapulting him backwards into a table full of delicate looking pottery. Harry sent a curse at a scrawny red-head, hitting him directly in the chest, causing him to let out a particularly unmanly squeal as he whirled around, accidently cursing the one-eyed wizard standing next to him.

"Aha! Take that!" Kimberly cried triumphantly as she turned a long-haired oily-skinned guy into a slug. She cackled, turning around to find another victim. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a short figure and a plump figure (unsuccessfully) hiding behind a table. He whirled around, wand pointed. Then promptly dropped it, having to snatch it out of midair.

"Teddy? Astoria?" He called hoarsely. They both looked up, eyes wide. Teddy's hair was wavering between indigo and red, while Astoria was busy scarfing down take out, having paused with the chopsticks in midair. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?" he kept his eyes, refusing to blink for fear that they would dissapear. Neither answered, instead Teddy tapping Astoria's shoulder rapidly as she chewed a bite of noodles.

"Was that enough? Are you good now?" he whispered. She didn't answer, instead looking up at Harry, who was slowly making his way towards them.

"What are you two doing in China?" he tugged jerkily at his collar as Aurors continued dueling behind him. He was completely oblivious.

"I thinks he's gone mental," Teddy whispered. Astoria tilted her head.

"Gone mental? Teddy darling, he _is_ mental," she replied. "Now," she said, holding out her hand, "are you ready to go?" Teddy grinned, taking her hand.

"Wait, wait,wait! Hold on! Where do you think you're-" but Harry was cut off as they disappeared. As he choked out random strangled-sounding noises, pointing at where his godson and had been seconds before, he was slammed into the ground.

"Sorry boss!" he heard Norman say in the background. Harry groaned.

"Finally," Draco sighed, not even bothering to go back and straighten up his office before hurrying out of the Ministry, too afraid Marlene would swoop back in and demand his assistance for a simple task that none of the other idiots he worked with could figure out, all while distracting him with her potato-head.

He smiled at the idea of seeing Astoria. Even if she had been mad for the past few months, she was usually in a good mood when he came home. At least for a few minutes anyways.

"So you're sure you saw them?" Ron glanced over at him, biting his lip.

"For the last time, it was definitely them!" Harry snapped, causing Ron to give him a look as if trying to decide whether he was certifiably mental or not.

"Okay, okay, I'm just saying..." he trailed off. Harry glared at him.

"I know what I saw. And I'm going to prove it to you when we go in and they're not there!" Harry proclaimed. They stopped in front of the gates, both tilting back their heads to see the top.

"Um, can I just come in?" Harry asked tentatively. To their surprise, the gates swung open. "Well, that was easy," Harry said as they started up the walkway. "Oh, wait, just you wait! They won't be there, they won't, I know they won't, and then you'll see!" he laughed manically, causing Ron to give him a wary glance. They reached the door, which Harry banged his fist on with a vengeance. Mid-bang, with his fist in the air, it swung open, revealing Astoria.

"Harry! I hope your date went well. Oh, and Weas-Ron! How's Hermione? I heard she's expecting too!" she smiled perkily at them, holding the door open wider. Harry sputtered as Ron barely concealed a laugh. She turned around, motioning for them to follow her as she walked into the living room. "Teddy's in here, he seems to love my and Draco's books, even if they are a tad...eccentric," she called conversationally. "Oh, Teddy dear! Look who's here!" she said brightly. Teddy looked up from his spot on the couch, pushing shaggy bright blue hair out of his silver eyes. Harry resembled a frog with the way his eyes were popping out and his mouth kept opening and closing. Ron couldn't contain his it anymore and burst into gut-wrenching laughter, holding his stomach.

"But, but, you two,"- Harry gestured wildly to Teddy and Astoria-"were in China! In the warehouse! I saw both of you! And you"-his hand waved in Astoria's direction-"were eating takeout!" Her eyebrows had risen up so high they were threatening to climb on top of her skull. "They must have came home in time!" he faced Ron, who was wiping tears out of his eyes, still chuckling. "Didn't you!" he gave a slightly manic laugh as he looked from Teddy to Astoria. "Just admit it, I've caught you!" He beamed, triumphant.

"Harry," Astoria started,"we've been here the whole time," she said slowly. Teddy nodded enthusiastically, causing his hair to flop into his eyes. "Just ask Minnie," as if on cue, a house elf wobbled into the room, still drying a plate.

"Mistress Astoria and Master Teddy were here all night. Minnie made them cherry cobbler," she said, holding up the plate as proof.

"Thank you Minnie," Astoria smiled, nodding at the house elf that walked back out, still drying the plate.

"I don't, no, no, you just _told_ her to say all that!" Harry stared at Ron. "Do you believe a word of this?" he demanded. Ron's eyes darted around uncomfortably.

"Well mate, it um, does smell like cherry cobbler..." he said slowly. At that exact moment,before Harry could start yelling a mix of curses and random syllables, the door opened.

"Tori?" Astoria looked up, her eyes lighting up.

"Draco!" she let out a schoolgirl-like squeal as Draco came in, dropping his suitcase as she threw her arms around him. They then proceeded to snog passionately, snapping Harry out of his breakdown long enough to roll his eyes. Ron was off to the side, an expression of pure disgust on his face as he contemplated why anyone would choose to place their lips on Malfoy the Fer-nope, he couldn't even finish the thought. Teddy continued to read the Italian Vogue he had found, all the while contemplating who on earth would wear that much makeup with that little clothing and think it looked attractive.

"Oh!" Astoria stopped mid-snog, turning around to find Ron and Harry (dragging Teddy) attempting to sneak out the door. A look of deep displeasure took over Malfoy's face as she unwound herself from his arms and went over to where they were.

"Ron," she said, shaking his hand, "Harry," she smirked as she shook his, inwardly cackling at his defeated expression, it seemed he had finally given up. She leaned down as far as she could go to look at Teddy. "Teddy dear, I had an absolutely marvelous time with you, and you really should come back soon," she said. He hugged her tightly, then stepped back.

"I will," he promised solemnly. "And don't forget what I said about the godfather situation," he said seriously. She bit back a smile, nodding.

"I won't," she swore.

As he followed Harry out the door, he turned back around, waving frantically. "Bye Aunt Tori!"

"Tor," Draco stepped near her, his arm sliding around her waist, "are you crying?"

"No, no," she sniffled, blinking rapidly, "I'm perfectly fine. But I _could_ go for pancakes," she said, smirking.

"Okay, I'll just get Minnie to-"

"But I love the way _you_ make them, all fluffy and golden," she whispered, turning around and winding her arms around him. She peered up at him through her eyelashes, biting her lip. He groaned.

"Tor..." her lip quivered. A sniffle. He sighed.

"Alright. For you. And the baby," he said. She squealed with delight, going on tip-toe to kiss him.

The next year, Mrs. Malfoy took her favorite metamorphmagus back to Paris to eat arguably the best crepes ever. The tradition continued, until nine years later, a bright-haired young man came to Malfoy Manor, then took his practically white-haired godson to Paris where, over crepes, the little boy listened wide-eyed at the crazy stories his godfather told him about his mum,and why dating in the Weasley family was a good idea, even if they were a bit mad.

The End.

**So what did you think? Good, bad, horrible? Review review review! **


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